Get in Touch

I’m always happy to hear from my readers – mostly.

That being said, I’d rather keep emails to a minimum because, well, I’m a busy guy!

So I’d like to put a few caveats in place…

Do NOT Contact Me…

  • If you want me to come and work my magic on your lawn – Believe it or not, I’ve had people ask if they could fly me across Europe to work on their lawns. I’m sorry, I’m just too damn busy.
  • If you want to berate me for my bad language or let me know about a spelling mistake – Not to be rude or anything, but get a life!
  • If you want me to link to your website – I don’t accept ‘guest posts’ or ‘niche edits’ whatever the fuck those are. I don’t care if you want to pay me fifty dollars. Go AWAY!!!
  • If you’re trying to SPAM the shit out of me – Stop emailing me about how you can increase my postion in Google, or tell me how important video content is – FUCK OFF!!! However, if you’re a Somalian prince and you want to deposit 12 million US Dollars into my account, let’s talk!

However, You CAN Email if…

  • You have a question you’d like to ask about lawn care – Chances are, I’ll already have covered it so I’ll be able to point you to the relevant content.
  • You’re working on behalf of a company and you’d like me to review your product – Send me a sample and I’ll review it. Three conditions to this though. Firstly, I’m honest so if there are things I don’t like I’ll say. Second, I expect to keep said product (unless it’s rubbish, then I’ll probably bin it). Third, reviewing products take time. I’m not your marketing department so don’t try and put me under pressure to publish my review in time with your promotional efforts.
  • You want to send in a testimonial – Has my advice helped you create a minter of a lawn? Then send me a testimonial with some before and after pictures god-dammit! I’ll give you a shout out on my website and social media.
  • You want to buy me a beer – I really like a Stella 🙂

Email me at: hello (@)

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